Ladies and gentlemen, I have recently come across all the proof you will ever need. For those naysayers out there, keep an eye out for my next post, it will contain 100% undeniable proof that Cute with Chris is responsible for terrible things. You wanted proof? I got proof. Now I just have to get some things straight with my new lawyer before I post it.

I’m sure this post is going to end up getting a million comments from cult members just laughing their asses off, but I don’t care, I know I have a few fans out there. So fans, I need your help…

When I signed up with ZenSix Media, I was told that they would take care of everything and I would even get part of the profits from ads on the site, if the site did well of course. In a rush to get started with the site, I agreed and faxed back a contract, which I barely skimmed. I know, I should have read it through.

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Quite a few people have decided that their big proof that I’m a liar has something to do with a single comment, left by a single visitor. The comment in question is #6 here. Basically, some moron decides to say “I don’t think Chris wrote that letter”. Of course, this was after I not only updated that post with “This was an April Fools Joke…”, but also published an entirely new post.

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I recently received an e-mail from a fan (yes I have fans) named Donnie. Donnie writes:

“Yo Kandice! I made this image for you. Maybe you can show it on your site? I agree, Chris is evil as hell and he runs a cult!” - Donnie

Thanks Donnie! Keep up the good work!

No. Not you. You think for yourself. No. You’re not part of a cult. You don’t believe everything you see and read. You’re independent. You are your own person. You are you.

Oh yeah?

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[THIS POST WAS PART OF AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE] Earlier today I was sorting through all of the spam and hate mail, when I came across something I had missed a few days ago… an e-mail from none other but Mr. Cult himself, Chris Leavins. Instead of telling you about it, I’ll just show it to you instead. The main points of interest have been highlighted in bold.

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I’ve had the flu for the past few days and it sucks! I’m feeling better now, just in time for school tomorrow… yay? Anyway…

That’s right, say hello to the FBI, they’re reading this post, your comments and all of your lovely e-mails (of which I received more than 15,000 this weekend… but I think most of them are coming from the same Cult member). After placing a complaint with my local sheriff’s department for the threats I received, my case was referred to the FBI and an agent was assigned to my case.

Now, once a day, I download a log of all the e-mails, comments, etc… and their IP addresses and forward them to him. He takes it from there.

So… those of you (you know who you are) who love to harass me for fun, keep it up. I’m sure you’re gonna love it in pound-me-in-the-ass prison!

There is now an official file in the offices of the FBI with the name “Cute with Chris” on it… And just as I predicted, I’m taking you all down, one person at a time. What now?

After a long couple of days, my dog is back and I can tell the story. This could end up being a long post, so get a drink and relax.

So he’s back, he didn’t run away, and yes, he was stolen. After asking all of the people in my neighborhood if they had seen him, I decided to go put flyers up in town. My mom went with me and we were gone for a few hours… but it’s what happened when I got home that proves everything I’ve been saying.

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For a few hours every night I let my dog go outside on a clothesline/leash thing in my backyard. Tonight after a few hours outside, I went to bring him back in, but he wasn’t there. At first I thought he had got lose, but his entire leash was missing as well. Now unless he can reach up about 6 feet in the air and undo the clamp himself, someone took him…

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This is just a quick update to let everyone know that you can now register your name and e-mail. Since there seems to be a problem with people pretending to be other users, I’ve set this up. If you look at the bottom of the sidebar on the right, you’ll see a link. Click it, fill in the information and you will be e-mailed a password (which you can change). Doing this will insure that nobody can pretend to be you.

Update: Well, obviously that does no good. I asked the guy that does all the stuff behind the scenes and he said the only way to make sure people can’t use your name is to restricts comments to people who registered. Oh well. Enjoy pretending to be each other… and you say *I* need a life…